ANN ARBOR – With University of Michigan move-in day less than a week away, many anxious incoming freshman will likely spend this weekend packing, saying goodbye to friends and relishing in the last few days of living under their parents' roof.
While there is so much focus on the student going off to experience new and exciting things, there are other people going through this monumental change as well: the parents.
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Local 4's Devin Scillian sent two of his daughters to University of Michigan and he's been to Ann Arbor so many times he should become an honorary local.
We caught up with him to hear his advice on the best way to approach this emotional time and what he's enjoyed most visiting A2 over the years.
Any tips for move-in day for parents moving their kids into the University of Michigan?
My best advice is don’t be overbearing.
As my daughter Christian puts it, "They don’t need you to organize their underwear drawer." Moving into the dorm as a freshman is, by definition, awkward. Moms and dads can get emotional and so can the student but with the added terror of worrying about what their new peers are seeing and sensing about them. And even if you’ve pre-discussed how the day will go, you may have to adjust.
With our two U of M move-ins, our daughters were suddenly ready for us to move along so they could be with their roommates and meet the gang down the hall. But as soon as you expect that to happen, your student may suddenly want you to stick around for dinner. Flexibility should rule the day. And that goes for the logistics of actually moving in, too. It’s pretty much chaos. Just don’t expect it to go all that smoothly and then you won’t be disappointed when it doesn’t or you’ll be pleasantly surprised if it does.
What was the hardest part about your kids going off to college?
Tuition.
I kid. The hardest part for us was getting used to a much quieter house. With four kids, we had grown accustomed to a certain level of sturm and drang. And each move-in day at college meant a dissipation of that. But rest assured, the empty nest has its own charms.
What advice did you give your kids when they left for college?
A few things. First off, we were adamant that college wasn’t just a way to go get a job. We wanted our children to pursue their passions, to study things that enriched them, and to understand that college was about learning a lot about yourself and not just about the topics in their books and classes.
Second, I told them to learn to "manage up." Learning to manage your professors is a great primer on learning how to manage your future bosses and supervisors. And lastly, I always told them to manage risk; don’t be someone else's cautionary tale.
What are your favorite places to go in Ann Arbor?
A walk through campus is always fun. I’m a big fan of the Ann Arbor Art Fairs, but that happens in the summer when most of the students are away. Corey and I love the restaurants in A2. We are huge fans of Mani. (It seemed to be our default destination). Jolly Pumpkin is great fun. We’ve had what feels like a million brunches at Sava's. I would put in a plug for Frita Batidos, a funky Cuban place that is hard to describe but delicious. Zingerman’s is, of course, a kind of pilgrimage for many. (The original deli is wonderful, but make the effort at least once to get to Zingerman’s Roadhouse away from downtown).
Do I need to urge every U of M parent to get to at least one football game at the Big House? I thought not. I hesitate to mention the Water Hill Music Fest because its fans enjoy its status as a well-kept secret. But on the first Sunday in May, music breaks out on porches and lawns at homes all over the Water Hill neighborhood, everything from a kids’ recital to one of the best Cuban bands I’ve ever heard.
Lastly, I would suggest a side trip to lovely Chelsea, a small town about 15 minutes west. It's home to the Common Grill which is one of my favorite restaurants in the entire state and the Purple Rose Theatre, founded by Chelsea’s Jeff Daniels.
What’s your favorite Ann Arbor bar or place to listen to music?
The Blind Pig is a terrific place to hear really strong local talent. And if, like me, you’re into folk, bluegrass or Americana, The Ark is a must-do. (You’ll find the schedule of performers here).
How did their experience at the University of Michigan change them?
Both of my daughters who attended U of M went through the School of Theatre, Music and Dance. It’s a world-class program and I will forever be grateful for the way it surrounded Quinn and then Christian with so many quality directors and professors and with so many talented fellow students. They both spent four years immersed in an amazing program that set a very high understanding in them of what good theater looks and feels like.
I can’t speak to the other programs, but so many of them are considered elite among the world’s universities that I must believe the effect on those students is very much the same.
And, as the best university experiences do, both of my daughters have made close friends that I know they will have forever.
What advice do you have for other parents?
I would urge parents to really learn and enjoy Ann Arbor. It’s an American classic. And now that our daughters have graduated, Corey and I are trying to figure out ways to make sure we’re there on a regular basis.
What makes Ann Arbor so Ann Arbor?
In a way, Ann Arbor is like many other college towns. (I, too, went to school in a similar college town – Lawrence, Kansas). But the best college towns separate themselves in so many ways with singular landmarks and customs. Yes, it’s just another college town. But it’s the only one with the Diag. The only one with Zingerman’s. The only one with the Big House. And perhaps the only one with your child. That makes it pretty special indeed.
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