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My journey to figure out why everyone online is suddenly ‘very demure’

The internet is doing that thing again

FILE - The icon for the video sharing TikTok app is seen on a smartphone, Feb. 28, 2023, in Marple Township, Pa. (AP Photo/Matt Slocum, File) (Matt Slocum, Copyright 2023 The Associated Press. All rights reserved)

Hello. You might know me, but if you’re new here -- I’m Kayla.

I’m hilarious. There is one one caveat: you have to have a particular sense of humor to get me. Think dry, think deadpan, think sarcasm with a lack of inflection.

I’m also chronically online. But no matter how much time I spend perusing the corners of the internet, there is still plenty that goes over my head. Including the sudden influx of people, situations, and actions suddenly being (or not being) very demure. I really need to be more mindful.

So, why is the internet suddenly obsessed with being “very demure, very mindful”? My first gut-reaction is that it’s fun, it’s catchy, and everyone loves satire.

What does demure mean?

Here is the definition: Demure (adjective) -- defined as, “reserved, modest, and shy (typically used of a woman).”

Example: “a demure young lady”

Are we using the exact definition of demure in this trend? Absolutely not. Instead, we’re being cutesy.

Where did the trend originate

The trend appears to originate from a TikTok video posted by @joolieannie in early August. In the video, she says, “See how I do my makeup for work? Very demure, very mindful.”

@joolieannie

#fyp #demure @OAKCHA @Paul | Fragrance Influencer

♬ original sound - Jools Lebron

@joolieannie explains the demure trend in this video. She said the videos are obviously, to her, a joke. “Every demure video is just me reference me. Like, that’s the entire joke. But people are like, ‘Maybe we shouldn’t judge people for how they arrive to work?’ I’m just judging myself.”

The videos went viral and suddenly the internet was flooded with people being “demure” and “mindful.” On TikTok, people have been lip dubbing the original video, quoting it, or commenting about how demure things are (or aren’t).

But do I really need to explain how memes work to you? That wouldn’t be very mindful. Basically, what this boils down to, is that people on the internet are doing that thing they always do.

We’re going to be “demure” and “mindful” until we’re all tired of hearing/reading/seeing it and then the next trend will blow through and we’ll share that one. I, personally, will probably use “demure” and “mindful” a little longer than is socially appropriate.

Then the cycle will repeat. Memes will keep on meme-ing and people on the internet will continue to be sarcastic and fun. Will I ever actually fully understand why anyone does anything? No. But if we zoom out far enough we’re all just specs of dusts hurtling through the vastness of space.

Might as well have fun while we’re here.


About the Author

Kayla is a Web Producer for ClickOnDetroit. Before she joined the team in 2018 she worked at WILX in Lansing as a digital producer.

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