Anyone who has ever fought a traffic ticket or at least sat in the courtroom when people go before the magistrate know how entertaining it can be. Usually you can’t enjoy the show since you’re practicing your story over and over in your head. Now imagine what it’s like over Zoom. That was my experience this morning.
Before I get into that, here’s the back story. On August 10, I was reporting on a story in Ann Arbor when my producer moved me to a story in South Lyon. Driving my own vehicle because of COVID, I hustled onto US 23. Instead of braking and avoiding going into the POV (carpool) lane which was closed, I quickly went around a semi and another car. In seconds, a state trooper was behind me with his lights on and I quickly pulled over. Before I could explain, the ticket was written and he was on his way. So, I figured I would challenge the ticket—not to avoid responsibility, but possibly have the infraction reduced to something with no points. After one postponement, I was all set to go this morning at 8:30.
Recommended Videos
Originally, I was scheduled for court via Zoom, but this time it said to report to the court. I rolled in early where a guard told me they were in fact still doing everything via Zoom.
Fantastic. Not only did I drive to Ypsilanti for no other good reason other than to see the sights, but clearly this was an omen for the case. I joined the Zoom meeting and headed home. On the way, several people started joining the meeting—many who were using Zoom for the first time. I couldn’t resist the urge to jump in a few times when the administrator’s instructions didn’t take and say, “Just tap your screen and touch MUTE in the bottom left corner.” Of course there was two or three follow-ups: “You’re still not muted.”
Shortly after 9 a.m., the magistrate starts calling cases without urging people to make sure they are muted unless their case is called. Here are just a couple of the quick interruptions of the first couple cases:
“Get out I’m on the phone!”
“I don’t know. Was it me? (Looks closely at screen) “I don’t think so. Someone else is talking.” “But who is that?” (Looks closer at screen)
Meantime, I pick up on the fact that there really isn’t a negotiation process under this format. The magistrate calls your case and immediately asks the officer if they are willing to knock it down. So I start practicing the bullets of my amended explanation:
“Good morning… I do accept responsibility, but before you consider reducing the charge to something without points… I was working… reporter… WDIV… only time I’ve ever done that… never do it again…”
The magistrate always asks if you want to accept responsibility to whatever the amended charge is or have a hearing. I have never heard anyone win their hearing and I have sat in on many courts for work and one other for my own traffic ticket. Even when someone shows up with phone records to allegedly prove they weren’t texting like the ticket says—they lose the hearing. So here comes a young lady who rolled a stop sign, which is three points on her record. Almost immediately, the magistrate and officer agree to reduce it to a ticket for double parking, no points and fine of $180 dollars. What a break, I’m thinking. But she balks. She’s not wild about the fine and sounds like she doesn’t think she ran the stop sign. I almost unmute myself to tell her to take it—it’s a gift-- and you’ll never win the hearing. She opts for the hearing. The magistrate swears her in and asks the officer to tell her what happens.
“I observed the suspect in her car make a turn without stopping. I also have dashcam of the incident if you’d like to see it, ma’am.”
Guess what it showed? Yep… she rolled the stop. She loses, gets the ticket and the points.
The magistrate continues to call cases—but several people aren’t answering or are unable to unmute in time, so they get skipped. Some chime in after another case is underway, which I find funny, of course, but I’m still a little subdued because I’m nervous about MY case.
The frustration is starting to show as the magistrate stops everything and says, “I have three people on here listed as ‘iPhone’ and one as ‘the king.’ What are your names, please?!”
Now I’m laughing out loud. I’m also practicing in my mind not to make the same mistakes everyone else has. Unmute, start my video, say good morning and nothing else until she asks me too. Then she says something that catches my ear—there are no more officers on the call. Before I realize what that means…
“Next case—Jason Colthorp. Mr. Colthorp, are you here?”
“Yes ma’am. Good morning.”
“Mr. Colthorp, the officer did not appear, your ticket is dismissed.”
(Eyes as big as saucers) “Thank you, ma’am. Happy New Year!”
It’s a feeling of total elation! As I run to tell my wife the good news, I can hear the magistrate still running through those on the line trying to give them the same piece of joy, but some aren’t understanding. One man is still trying to explain his case and why he should only get a parking ticket as she keeps interrupting to tell him it’s been dismissed.
So, as it turns out, the last Monday of 2020—which could have gone a few different ways—is off to a phenomenal start.
Also, my next great idea is going to be turning traffic court Zooms into a TV show somehow. An angry magistrate, technology-challenged defendants, and maybe a raucous live audience. We’ll call it “TAKE THE DEAL!”
I’d watch.