I walked into the newsroom last Friday afternoon to talk with producers about the weather. A cold, snowy spring day had caused a slow morning commute, and early emerging plants and flowers were to be buried underneath a thick blanket of slush.
But when I looked up at the many TV monitors in the newsroom, nearly all had the same headline, “Princess of Wales diagnosed with cancer.”
A wave of shock, disbelief and unexpected sadness washed over me. I don’t know Kate Middleton. I don’t really follow the Royals. But, in recent weeks, I’ve been somewhat drawn to the rumors and theories surrounding the whereabouts of the beautiful princess.
What seemed like a harmless curiosity at the time suddenly felt intrusive and mean.
I know what it’s like to be diagnosed with cancer when you have young children.
I learned I had cancer seven years ago as a single mom of five children, the youngest of which was only 3 years old. Sitting down with my oldest two children, then 12 and 13, was the hardest thing I have ever done.
I made the decision to only tell my immediate family about my cancer until I was finished with surgeries and treatment. It took over nine months before I shared the news with anyone outside of my family.
I believe it’s quite possible Princess Kate was not ready to make the statement she made last week.
Regardless, I can’t imagine what it must have been like to get a cancer diagnosis followed by endless questions about her health, rumors of infidelity in her marriage, and even speculation she had already died. Princess or not, she is a human being. She is no different than the millions of other people fighting cancer around the world. Cancer doesn’t care about status or class.
This insidious disease will turn your world upside down no matter if you live in a condo or a castle.
So, why does the news of Kate Middleton’s cancer -- or any other public figure’s cancer -- make some people feel sad even though they don’t know the person? According to the American Cancer Society, cancer often reminds us of our own life experiences. If the person diagnosed with cancer is close to your age, you might think about your own mortality, or feel guilty for your health.
Or perhaps you know someone personally who has recently been diagnosed with cancer.
This can be tough to navigate, especially if you’ve never experienced someone you care about battling this awful disease. What do you say? What do you do?
The first thing is to not be ashamed of your own fears or discomfort. It’s OK to feel a bit uneasy and unsure of how to talk to someone who has recently been diagnosed. The most important thing you can do is listen.
The American Cancer Society suggests you try to hear and understand the best you can. Don’t make light of, judge, or change the way someone feels. The person may feel sad, angry, or they might not want to talk at all. Just let them know when they are ready, you are there for them.
“For everyone facing this disease, in whatever form, please do not lose faith or hope. You are not alone.” - Catherine, Princess of Wales.
For more information visit the American Cancer Society here.