This is the fifth edition of an ongoing series of real stories about addiction from ClickOnDetroit's readers.
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Addiction is a devastating disease.
I loved an addict when I was 20, thinking I could save anyone. I tried for a year to "help" him but, looking back, it was really just enabling. It is so hard to tell someone you love, NO!
He started out as a young teen with back problems and took pain medication, which increased throughout high school. By the time he dropped out he had been in trouble with juvenile courts at least once and was highly addicted to Vicodin.
We met at 20. By then his drug was heroin, his second was Xanax. He would trash talk friends with heroin addiction to try to get us to look in the other direction from his own heroin addiction. I actually had no clue at the time he had used heroin, I was under the impression he was only using Xanax. He always pointed out that he had something horrible happen to him when he was young -- I never uncovered the mystery of WHAT, and he never got sober while we were together.
During a weekend evening at the bar I found a syringe near my car and asked him about it, but he claimed it was not his. One day not long after the bar where I found the syringe, he asked me to wait in the car while he got something from his mom's house, less than 10 minutes later she came running out saying he was overdosing in the basement. That was the day I finally discovered he used heroin, not just Xanax.
Seeing the person you love on the floor gasping for air (only once in a while), nearly blue, and twitching was something that will be forever burned into my brain. The paramedics shot him with Narcan. He stood up and walked out of the house fighting the paramedics the whole way, saying he was fine. He spent a week in the hospital on all kinds of surveillance because he damaged his heart.
After that was rehab. He went to rehab several times. At least two 30-day programs, out-patient treatment, and lived in housing programs. He relapsed every time. His mom ALWAYS called and set it all up for him while he'd sit around getting high until the moment he went to the treatment facility.
He decided to browse my Facebook messages one day, found a message from before we were together was in the box, and he tried to kill me that October day. My throat was purple. My voice was hoarse for days. After a week, I went back to him.
It was still October when he decided to steal from me to buy drugs, and I caught him. I finally snapped, I left him on the side of the road and never looked back.
He never tried to get me to use, but he always tried to cut me down to his emotionally unstable level. And he succeeded. It took me 3 years to feel normal again.
Its been 5 years now, and two weeks ago I woke up to a call from my cousin. We don't talk often. He has always been distant from the family, even as a teen and it got worse, into adulthood. He innocently started out partying with friends, and has snowballed to full blown alcoholism.
Hes been to a 30-day program and relapsed within a month. I did know he had a drinking problem, but my aunt sugar-coated how bad it was; I had no clue until he called me. His first words were, "I'm a drunk. I'm going to die, please help me." He was embarrassed and thought the entire family hated him. He said he was a failure because he already went to rehab once. I was honestly thankful for my past experience.
My cousin begged me to call off work and drive him to rehab.
I told him no. And he told me his mom and dad wouldn't help him anymore, that he was going to lose his job and needed rehab. After about two hours of trying to reason with an absolutely wasted adult, he started to come around. I told him he MUST do this himself. He needs to man up and call around for a bed. He kept saying he was too drunk and couldn't do it. He said he was going to ask my mom for help then. So I called her and told her do not help him any more than bringing him some food and water to sober up. Make him do it.
I believe an addict needs to feel the emotion of saying, "I have a problem," over and over, even if they won't remember it the next day, the emotions still happened.
To my surprise, by the time my mom arrived at his house, he had a bag packed and a rehab waiting for him. I am so so proud of him for this. I know he doesn't remember any of this day, two weeks ago. But I hope and pray that this is the turning point in his life.
He keeps saying he is where he needs to be.
He is nearly halfway through the 45-day program, and said they keep him very busy and he loves the program -- he's very hopeful.
I never thought addiction would touch my family this closely, and I never thought what I experienced with my ex would be useful in my future.
I love my cousin very, very much and I'm praying for his recovery to be a successful one.
Addiction can destroy families.
-- Kara
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