ROYAL OAK, Mich. – When it comes to our health, certain symptoms can be difficult to talk about -- even to your doctor.
This story was inspired by three people who shared with that their illnesses could have been diagnosed and treated earlier if they had just been honest with their doctor about the symptoms they were experiencing.
To help you avoid that mistake, we asked three local doctors from different specialties at Corewell Health Beaumont to share their advice for patients who are struggling to find the words.
It’s a challenge the doctors said they know all too well.
“In urology, we see this a lot,” said Dr. Kenneth Peters, Chief of Urology at Corewell Health’s Beaumont Hospital, Royal Oak. “We see patients who come in with problems that they think they’re the only person who have it, and they’re just embarrassed to bring it up.”
Peters said often patients with urinary incontinence don’t feel comfortable sharing the whole truth.
“I’ll just say, ‘Do you ever have any leakage of stool?’ Sometimes it’s just the shocked look on their face, like ‘Yes, I’ve never told anybody this.’ But once you bring it out, then they’re so relieved because at least they know it’s something that actually happens, you know, that we could potentially help,” said Peters.
Sexual health is also difficult for some to discuss said Dr. Lori Mausi, an obstetrician-gynecologist at Corewell Health’s Beaumont Hospital, Royal Oak.
“Sexually transmitted infection testing, it’s hard to come out and ask for that. You know, some patients will think that they’re dirty, will think that I think that they’re dirty,” explained Mausi.
But that’s far from the case.
“There’s nothing that I haven’t heard. I’m not here to judge you. I’m only here to give you the best care that I can,” reassured Mausi.
It’s a sentiment shared by Dr. Asha Shajahan, a family practice physician at Corewell Health Beaumont Grosse Pointe Hospital and the Medical Director of Community Health.
“Something like hemorrhoids is very embarrassing for patients, but as a doctor, I see that so many times a day. It’s very routine for me,” said Shajahan. “You’ll be surprised as a patient that once you do share what it is that is embarrassing for you that the doctor doesn’t even flinch. Like ‘Oh yeah, this. We can take care of that.’”
Some patients are also hesitant to discuss depression, anxiety, skin rashes, and obesity.
But not bringing up sensitive topics limits your doctor’s ability to properly care for you and can have devastating results.
“I did have a patient that had a large mass, in their vaginal area, and they did not want to share that,” said Shajahan. “It was just through an exam that I was like ‘Wait a minute, you know, what is this? How long has it been there?’ It had been there for almost two years, and it turned out to be cancerous. That was something that I said, you know ‘Why didn’t you tell me about it?’ and she was embarrassed.”
So how do you find the words? These doctors say -- write them down!
“Write down the top three things you want to talk about, and if it’s embarrassing maybe preface that,” suggested Shajahan. “Say maybe, ‘You know, doc, I’m kind of embarrassed about this, but this is what I have going on.’”
Try to avoid waiting for that “doorknob moment” to share your concern.
“We’re reaching for their doorknob, saying ‘Goodbye’ and then they’ll often say ‘Well one more thing.’ It’s like they finally get the courage to bring something up,” said Peters. “Men, it seems common, they may be coming in to get their prostate checked and then as you’re walking out, ‘Well, I’ve been having trouble with erections,’ and then it’s like, ‘Well how long has this been going on?’”
They are conversations these doctors don’t shy away from.
“Urology is kind of a sensitive area to go in to. You have to be comfortable having very frank conversations with patients, because it’s a sensitive area, whether it’s around sexual function, whether it’s about your bowels, your bladder, your prostate, erections. All these different things are very impactful,” explained Peters. “For me, I’ve always had that personality where I can have those frank conversations. I’m very open with patients. I actually enjoy talking to them about these things. But, what I really think is, you have to take an extra minute with patients when you talk about problems that maybe aren’t standard routine like an elevated blood pressure and just sit down and have that conversation.”
Whenever possible, find a doctor you feel comfortable being open with.
“I want you to get all of the benefits that you can so that I can take of you the best that I can,” said Mausi.
Finally, try not to beat around the bush.
“You want to be honest with your doctor, and honest in the simplest way. Sometimes it’s hard to say things, so you skirt around it and the doctor’s kind of confused on what you’re trying to say, so be honest, be direct. That’s what the doctor is there for, is to help you,” said Shajahan.
But these doctors stress - whenever you bring it up -- and however you bring it -- bring it up.
“This is what I’ve trained for. This is where my passion is in medicine. So I just want to give you the best health care. But in order to do that, you have to be honest with me too,” said Mausi.
“I really wish patients would not be embarrassed about anything,” said Peters. “More often than not, the problems that they have, somebody else has. They just don’t know because nobody’s talking about it. Patients should know we’ve heard everything. There’s nothing you could tell me that would shock me.”
“That’s our job. That’s what we’re there for. We’re there to help you with any symptom that you have, and you don’t want to minimize any symptoms because then it could harm you,” said Shajahan.
All of the doctors said they are used to being detectives to get to the bottom of their patients’ concerns, but it is so much easier if you are open and honest because they truly want to help patients get answers and the care they need.
To hear the doctors share more of their experiences and advice, click here.
Dr. Shajahan and Dr. Peters previously discussed this topic in a podcast. You can find that episode here.