DETROIT – I had a talk with my sister a few months ago and she mentioned how she felt broken. As if parts of her life were out of control and unorganized. And no matter what she tried – she couldn’t get on track and stay on track.
She has a neurodiverse son, my nephew, who she mentioned was having a hard time managing his chores, homework, and daily practical life functions. She shared with me that she felt she was the cause of his challenges because she too had a difficult time managing these things.
So, like most millennials she found validation on what she was feeling through TikTok. There are tons of videos about women with adult ADHD. It led her down a rabbit hole of everything from resources, coping techniques, and tips on how to organize things in your home.
I convinced her to speak with her primary care physician – who was very understanding of her concerns. Her doctor has submitted a referral for her to be tested by a psychiatrist. The wait list for this in nearly four months.
In the meantime, I started doing my own research. I found tons of information on social media but not so much in the mainstream media specifically solid research about adult women and ADHD.
The love and desire to help my sister led me to produce this story and bring awareness that a lot of women may be unknowingly dealing with ADHD. There’s so much more for me to learn on this topic and I can see myself doing more stories about this. I have loved the feedback and interest I’ve received so far! If you have a comment, send it my way!
For local resources on ADHD, The ADHD Coaches Organization, or ACO, a worldwide professional membership organization that maintains an online directory of certified ADHD coaches, visit www.adhdcoachesorganization.org to find help near you.
Looking back, Jessica Rodrigues can recognize the signs of ADHD she had as a child. Rodrigues, a 36-year-old mother of two and special education teacher, was recently diagnosed with ADHD after a life of struggling with executive dysfunction and feeling dysregulated.
“[I felt] a lot of disorganization,” Rodrigues said. “A lot of, feeling frozen. You know how much you have to do but you can’t actually get yourself to complete it.”
ADHD has frequently been underdiagnosed in young girls, who usually exhibit different symptoms than their male peers. In recent years, diagnosis for adult women have increased, nearly doubling for women between 23 and 49 years old from 2020 to 2022.
According to Dr. Sarah Kiperman, Rodrigues’s friend and Licensed Psychologist at Corewell Health’s Center for Human Development, boys exhibit more outward symptoms that are easier to diagnose.
“Traditionally when we think of ADHD and like when we’re diagnosing in schools, with boys stereotypically we’re seeing more,” Kiperman said. “There’s that exhibiting of behavior being out of the seat or like looking for more outgoing behaviors that we observe. Versus in girls from a young age we tend to see more inattention which is harder to spot. From a young age early on in schools, we might be more likely to miss diagnosing girls based on gender norms based on how we track behaviors.”
There are three main types of ADHD – inattentive, hyperactive-impulsive and a combination of the two. Girls are more likely to be diagnosed with the first type of ADHD-Inattentive, which leads to fewer referrals. One study from 2018 found that boys comprised 72% of clinical ADHD diagnoses.
Rodrigues’s experience was similar. When the two were in school together, Kiperman says Rodrigues was always on top of her work.
“And I would have never guessed at the time that [Rodrigues] had ADHD because she just had everything so together,” Kiperman said.
Although it may have looked like Rodrigues had everything together, she was still struggling. At 14, she was diagnosed with depression and many of her ADHD symptoms were attributed to her depression or other conditions. According to scientific studies, the presence of depression and anxiety with ADHD is linked to more internalized symptoms, which again makes clinical diagnosis difficult.
“After I had my kids, I had several doctors tell me that oh, it’s just anxiety or it’s postpartum that’s complicating things,” Rodrigues said. “‘This is normal, this will go way’ -- those kinds of things. I think it’s really common in the medical field to attribute especially struggles with women to depression and anxiety instead of looking for a different cause.”
Rodrigues’s ADHD became more severe after she had her children, both of whom are also neurodivergent. Her therapist explained that having to manage a child’s executive function skills while lacking in your own ability to manage activities and feelings can be especially difficult for parents with ADHD.
Despite the lack of scientific and clinical information about ADHD in women, Rodrigues was able to find solace in social media. On TikTok, the hashtag “adult women with ADHD” has millions of videos and views. After watching these videos and watching her son get diagnosed with ADHD, Rodrigues was finally able to understand what she was feeling, and how her struggles could be attributed to the disorder.
“My son’s diagnosis definitely helped a lot because then I was learning about things to help support him and noticing similarities between him and his symptoms and my own,” Rodrigues said.
Rodrigues also says that social media has removed some of the social stigma that comes from having ADHD, but there is still a long way to go.
“I think that the general population needs some more education about the idea that having a diagnosis or having an answer doesn’t mean we’re looking for an excuse,” Rodrigues said. “And that being treated differently or asking for accommodations isn’t trying to get out of anything, that there’s not just one right way to do things anymore.”
After getting diagnosed, Rodrigues has been finding strategies to combat executive dysfunction in families. Although she may not have typical management skills, she can help her kids cope with having ADHD.
“But one of the things that I figured out is that [my kids] don’t have those skills because their brain works like mine, but I have a lot of coping skills that they need,” Rodrigues said. “So teaching them those as much more important.”
Rodrigues and Kiperman believe that diagnosis is important, especially if symptoms are impacting someone’s life. Kiperman suggests that anyone who struggles with what they believe are signs of ADHD should talk with their primary care physician for more information on treatment and options.