Making sure that children feel loved by their parents may be more simple than some people expect.
Some parents may think their children feel loved by what the parent does or buys for them, but a survey conducted by author Gary Chapman suggests something different. Chapman wrote “The Five Love Languages.”
Chapman found that 90% of children surveyed said that when their parents played with them, that’s what made them feel loved. Older kids surveyed said that they felt more loved on days when their parents showed more warmth, praise, and affection -- even if they were in a conflict. In other words, being warm and protected against the consequences of conflict made teens feel loved.
To help children feel loved, parents should schedule time for play. Playing games and being silly together can help you bond with your children. Parents should also make a point to really listen to their kids. Put down your electronics and give them your full attention when they talk to you.
Hugging your children triggers the release of oxytocin, a hormone that’s linked to love, safety, and trust. Creating a special routine or ritual can also make your child feel loved. The routine can be as simple as making pancakes every Saturday morning or making a dance to your favorite song. Anything you can do together to keep that connection strong.
Research shows that feeling loved has a positive effect on a child’s development and mental health. That doesn’t stop as they get older. Teens who feel like they matter are more likely to experience happiness, higher academic achievement, and more life satisfaction.