DETROIT – It’s not always comfortable talking about mental health with your kids but experts say those conversations are critical for a child’s healthy development and well-being.
As parents, we help our kids learn to walk, talk, and hundreds of other skills, but many people feel far less confident about how to build up their child’s skills when it comes to mental health.
One factor that is key -- starting early.
“We want kids to be able to know their emotions because every emotion is OK, right? But not every reaction is,” said Dr. Whitney Raglin Bignall.
Many parents are divided on when to start mental health conversations, but according to Bignall, a pediatric psychologist with The Kids Mental Health Foundation, the earlier, the better.
“I have a 16-month-old. He doesn’t like sometimes when I have to tell him no. Right. And so I’m sharing with him like, ‘I know that you’re really upset that mom is not allowing you to touch this very dangerous thing. But mommy can’t allow you to do it,’” Bignall said. “It’s helping him see that. Yes, I know that he’s upset about it. It’s giving him a word for it. So that eventually when he starts talking more to me, hopefully, he can start telling me that he feels upset and he’s learning some of those signals.”
She said parents should be open when talking about mental health and listen to what children say without judgment. It’s important to avoid distractions and to read the body language and facial expressions of the child.
Don’t ask too many questions because the goal is for them to want to talk openly with you.
“Connection and belonging is so vital just as we need to eat and drink, we need to be connected with one another,” Bignall said.
If you have older kids, it’s better to start late than never. Children are dealing with a lot of issues and situations other generations never had to deal with. The same rules apply: be open, really listen and do not be judgemental. It’s about starting an ongoing conversation and helping our children build the skills they need.
Parents don’t have to have all the answers and there are resources that can help. The Kids Mental Health Foundation has advice for a wide range of topics, including anxiety, body image, bullying and technology.