DETROIT – Domestic violence is a very serious problem in our community.
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Survivors, experts and advocates are sounding the alarm and urging people to know the early warning signs to help people get away from a potentially dangerous relationship.
Related: Domestic violence resources: How to find an organization in Metro Detroit that can help
“I want to remind everybody violence is usually the last step, so it’s important to know how to recognize the first,” said Lori Kitchen-Buschel. “Assailants are good at power and control. And they are good at the love bombing.”
Kitchen-Buschel is the executive director of First Step, a 24/7 nonprofit domestic violence and sexual assault shelter with wrap-around support services for survivors in Detroit and all of Wayne County.
“It’s hard. My staff are dedicated and they work incredibly hard, every day all day to help support survivors to hopefully prevent this from happening,” Kitchen-Buschel said. “For every life we’ve lost, there are so many others who have made it out safely.”
What are the warning signs people need to watch out for so they can end things before it escalates?
“When it comes on really strong and intense, that could be a sign,” Kitchen-Buschel said. “Start to interfere with your relationships with friends and family. ‘Oh, that friend is crazy. That friend isn’t good for you.’ It’s all about breaking down and cutting out your support system.”
She also said a partner questioning your behavior and whereabouts is also a warning sign.
“Those are your early red flags that this might not be safe,” Kitchen-Buschel said. “All of the resources and all of the freedom is often slowly pulled away from the survivor before it gets to the violent point.”
What happens when the first violent incident happens?
“Then they come back strong with love-bombing, flowers, ‘I’m so sorry, I’ll never do it again,” Kitchen-Buschel said. “Well, if it continues, it’s going to continue.”
First Step provides resources and support to 7,000 survivors per year. They recently secured a new building and aiming to expand. You can donate to First Step here.
You can watch Rhonda Walker’s full story in the video player above.