DETROIT – Parents warn teenagers about the dangers of talking to strangers online and sharing personal information, but it still happens.
It raises the question: How can you get through to your kids?
According to the FBI and the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, there’s been a huge increase in sextortion cases. Teenagers are being coerced into sending naked photos or videos of themselves and then are pressured to send money or be ruined. The children are often asked to send money through CashApp or send gift cards.
No parent wants to think their child would do that, but it happens on multiple platforms -- including Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, Wizz and others. The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children said they receive, on average, more than 800 sextortion reports per week.
The consequences can be deadly. Jordan DeMay, a Michigan high school student, died by suicide after being blackmailed with a nude photograph in 2022. He was 17 years old.
His family said he was kind-hearted and loved sports. After the Marquette High School Homecoming King received a message on Instagram that appeared to be from a teenage girl, he ended up going down a dark road that would lead him to take his own life six hours later.
Two men in Nigeria and five men in the United States were eventually charged with being part of an online extortion ring.
Read: Michigan parents describe night of son’s suicide, dangers of sextortion, how he was targeted
Jordan’s story is played out frequently among teenagers across the country. According to the FBI, the victims are typically boys 14 to 17 years old, but there have been victims as young as 8 years old. Girls are targeted too.
How it happens -- The tactics perpetrators use
Sextortion begins over the internet and the criminal uses deception and manipulation to convince their victim to engage in explicit activity. It starts as a quick message, something like “Hey, I like gaming too. Let’s chat.”
Trust is built and it escalates and the child is asked to send a naked photo. Then the pressure begins with texts like “Hey, I got your nudes and will ruin your life. I’ll send it to all your followers and make it go viral. Send me $500 and I’ll delete it all.”
The children get scared and are afraid to ask for help.
In Jordan DeMay’s case, the pressure to pay was too much and he took his own life. The FBI said there have been an alarming number of suicides among male sextortion victims.
What parents can do to protect their children
Local 4 Crime and Safety Expert Darnell Blackburn said there are safety features on electronic devices, but parents should know that communication is key. Children may feel embarrassed and that could stop them from coming forward.
“The more you talk, the more comfortable your child becomes. It’s a relationship. Even though it may be a parent-and-child relationship you still want to establish those lines,” Blackburn said. “You’re teaching your young person how to relate to other people, but also creating something that makes them comfortable enough to say, ‘Mom, I messed up,’ or ‘I’m afraid,’ and that’s really more important for them to be able to come to you.”
The FBI has shared the following tips to protect yourself and your children online.
- Be selective about what you share online, especially your personal information and passwords. If your social media accounts are open to everyone, a predator may be able to figure out a lot of information about you or your children.
- Be wary of anyone you encounter for the first time online. Block or ignore messages from strangers.
- Be aware people can pretend to be anything or anyone online. Videos and photos are not proof that a person is who they claim to be.
- Be suspicious if you meet someone on a game or app and they ask you to start talking to them on a different platform.
- Encourage your children to report suspicious behavior to a trusted adult.
“I think that after this has happened to Jordan, it’s making a difference,” said Jennifer Buta, Jordan’s mother. “People talking about this and sharing the information, it is making a difference.”
If you believe you or someone you know is the victim of sextortion, do not delete anything on your device before law enforcement can review it. While it may be embarrassing, tell the authorities everything about the encounters you had online.
Call the FBI’s Detroit Field Office at 313-965-2323 or submit a tip online at tips.fbi.gov. You can also file a report with the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center at www.ic3.gov, or the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (1-800-THE-LOST or cybertipline.org).