PONTIAC, Mich. – Deodge Hill is a mom of four, a certified physician’s assistant and a successful woman from Belleville who was almost killed after she got back into the dating world.
Her husband was a Detroit police officer who was killed in 2013. She said it took a long time before she dated again, only to end up in a relationship marked by control and violence.
Related: Michigan mother shares story to support HAVEN’s vital mission
Hill never thought she would be a victim, but after three months with a man who came off as nice and inviting, the red flags began to show.
“One of the red flags was the constant FaceTiming me,” Hill said. “He wanted to know where I was all the time, accusing me of cheating, accusing me every five minutes.”
She recalled a time when he saw a photo and accused her of having her phone filled with photos of men. He shoved the table at the restaurant they were at, causing food to fall onto her.
Hill was concerned and told her coworkers that if anything happened to her, they should suspect her boyfriend -- but she felt like she couldn’t leave. He said he would kill her if she left him and Hill said she didn’t want to put herself or her children in danger.
Like many abusive relationships, there were good times.
“We went to concerts, we did a lot of fun things,” Hill said. So it’s not like everything was abusive and everything was intimidating."
But eventually, her fears became reality. Under the impression she was cheating on him, he kidnapped her and took her to a place where he had a gun. She knew he was going to kill her.
She prayed and prayed.
“I said, ‘I love you, and I care about you.’ I said, ‘You just got to stop doing this to me. I won’t tell anybody, but you’ve got to get help,’” Hill recalled. “And whatever that energy force was in a car, it left, and he looked at me, and he said, ‘I’m so sorry. Look at your face. Oh, man, I think I overreacted.’”
That’s when she decided to take her children to Chicago. She left everything behind.
“I didn’t have underwear, I didn’t have a toothbrush. I didn’t have a brush to comb my hair,” Hill said.
She reported the kidnapping and the attack, there were no consequences. A jury didn’t find him guilty.
“It was a game in the courtroom and I can tell that I was not taken seriously,” Hill said. “I didn’t have an advocate. I didn’t have anybody that I could turn to.”
That’s why she is sharing her story to support HAVEN, which offers programs for victims of domestic violence and sexual assault. The nonprofit provides shelter, counseling, advocacy, and educational programs to nearly 30,000 people each year, helping people across Metro Detroit.
More: Why HAVEN is so important to Metro Detroit
It’s the county’s only 24-hour emergency shelter for domestic violence and sexual assault victims and their children.
“They just need support. They need hope,” Hill said. “I don’t want you telling me what to do because I’ve just gotten out of a situation like that, I just need hope. I just need somebody to just reassure me and empower me to make the decisions that I need to make.”
Local 4 is teaming up with HAVEN for our “Go 4 It: Living Without Fear” event to collect basic needs for survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault.
You can learn more here: Here’s how to donate to survivors of domestic and sexual violence
We want to honor those making a difference. Click here to nominate someone who’s Going 4 It in your community. We’ll be featuring your nominees every month on Local 4 and ClickOnDetroit.
Thanks to our Go 4 It sponsor partners, Masco, Henry Ford Health, and the Gilbert Family Foundation.