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Stranger danger: How to help your child understand age-appropriate strategies

Strangers can be unsafe, but sometimes so can people we know, doctor says

Children walk together. (Max Fischer, Max Fischer via Pexels.)

In an unpredictable world, safeguarding our children is paramount.

Parents know it’s impossible to have constant supervision over their kids, which is why it’s essential to learn the best strategies to teach them about self-protection.

“I try not to use the phrase ‘stranger danger’ when talking about safety with kids,” said Dr. Stacy L. Leatherwood, a pediatrician at Henry Ford Health. “Instead, I emphasize that strangers can be unsafe, but sometimes so can people we know.”

The question of when to initiate conversations about stranger safety with children prompts mixed opinions. Leatherwood advises to begin the dialogue early and revisit it frequently as the child matures.

“Keep the conversation age-appropriate, but start it when your kids are just toddlers,” she said.

At the early stage, the focus should lie on instilling foundational knowledge such as correct anatomical terms and distinguishing safe from unsafe touch.

“Very little kids can understand that it’s OK for mommy or daddy to touch their private areas while helping them bathe, or for a doctor to do so while mommy or daddy is in the room, but that it’s not OK for other people or in other settings,” Leatherwood said.

As children grow, they should be equipped with key information to aid them if they become lost, including their full name, their parents’ names and contact numbers. Parents should also foster a sense of autonomy and boundary awareness that empowers children to assert themselves in uncomfortable situations.

“If your child doesn’t want to hug grandma or sit on grandpa’s lap, for example, the adults need to respect that choice,” Leatherwood said.

Encourage children to establish greetings that align with their comfort level and discourage pressure from relatives to engage in physical contact that children find distressing. For example, if they don’t want to greet someone with a hug, they shouldn’t be forced to do so.

Role-playing serves as a valuable tool in preparing children to navigate real-world scenarios.

“When you’re in the grocery store, have your child play out what they would do if they got separated from you, who they could go to and what to say,” Leatherwood said, adding that, by rehearsing interactions and responses, children gain confidence in handling unexpected situations.

Despite the inherent trust children often extend, they must discern potential risks and act accordingly. Teach them to recognize red flags, decline inappropriate requests and trust their instincts. This forms a critical aspect of their safety education.

These lessons encompass fundamental principles like refraining from entering vehicles with unfamiliar adults, declining gifts from strangers without parental consent and understanding the importance of disclosing discomfort to trusted adults.

By imparting these skills, parents empower their children to navigate encounters with confidence and assertiveness, and it fosters a safer environment for their growth and exploration.

For more information on how Henry Ford Health helps individuals navigate parenthood, click or tap here.