The back-to-school season is exciting, but it can also be stressful for everyone in the family.
Even if students will return to the same school they’ve attended previously, there are still going to be changes: a new teacher, new classmates, a new classroom and a new routine.
Kelly Melistas, a child and adolescent psychologist at Henry Ford Health, said children respond to what they see, so as they embark on the change of season, it’s important for parents to be cognizant of their behavior.
“Anxious parents send anxious kids to school,” she said.
So, amid the stress, it’s important to find ways to make the transitional as seamless as possible.
Melistas provided seven tips for parents:
1. Check in with your children every day.
“In my family, every evening we take turns talking about the worst part of our day, the best part of our day and what we’re looking forward to tomorrow,” Melistas said. “Was the worst part of their day something they also mentioned twice last week? It allows you to keep your finger on the pulse of what’s going on in their lives. And thinking about what they’re looking forward to shows them there’s always an opportunity to make tomorrow better. It can really be a fun and engaging activity.”
2. Make it fun.
It can be helpful to take your kids to school before it begins. Let them peak through the windows or play on the playground.
“Some teachers let their students come a week early to see the classroom,” Melistas said. “It can help alleviate worries and get them excited about school.”
School supply shopping can also be a powerful way to get them engaged in a fun way.
“For my daughter, there’s nothing better. Getting her pencils and markers, picking out notebooks -- for kids, the little things make a difference.”
3. Be present.
When summer ends, that doesn’t mean the fun has to, as well. Consider what you can do with them.
“Creating fun experiences for your kids -- like getting ice cream after school or heading to the park -- can help ease the transition,” Melistas said.
4. Listen when they talk, but don’t always feel the need to fix their problems.
As parents, we want to immediately offer our child solutions.
“It’s important to understand what they’re saying and follow their lead to know when to offer suggestions -- when it’s something they just want to vent about or when they don’t want to talk about it. That’s okay, too. They’ll come around.”
5. Pay attention to nerves about school safety.
Unfortunately, school violence is a source of anxiety and stress for our children, but having a routine to rely on can help them.
“They are resilient, but they thrive on routine,” Melistas said. “School-age kids feel safe when they know what to expect. Even if there are wrenches thrown their way, they can fall back on the reliability and comfort of that routine.”
It’s never too early to have honest, age-appropriate conversations with your child. Watch for changes in their behavior: Are they not sleeping enough? Are they sleeping more than usual? Has their interest in activities changed? Are they isolating? Talk to them and get a therapist to intervene if need be.
6. Focus on their bedtime/sleep routine.
There are numerous ways to start preparing your child for school in relation to their sleep and bedtime routine:
- About two weeks before school begins, start shifting your child’s bedtimes and wake-up times. Make it a gradual process by changing the times by 15 or 30-minute intervals.
- Eat earlier and minimize or eliminate caffeinated beverages. This can avoid digestive issues and disruption to sleep.
- Be active in the afternoons leading up to school to help tire them out. Just be sure exercise is done two to three hours before bed to avoid overstimulation.
- Turn off all electronics in your child’s possession or room at least one to two hours before lights out. This will limit the stimulation they’re exposed to before bed.
- Make sure they get enough sleep. “Maintaining a consistent sleep-wake cycle is really important,” Melistas said. According to Henry Ford Health, kids ages 3 to 5 need anywhere between 10 and 13 hours of sleep a night. Kids ages 6 to 13 need nine to 11 hours a night, and teens ages 14 to 17 need around eight to 10 hours of sleep. “Lack of sleep is directly correlated with anxiety, irritability and inability to focus. In fact, some states have pushed back the start time for high school students because sleep is so important.”
7. Be consistent.
Whatever adjustments you make leading up to school, stick with it. Inconsistencies can undo any sleep progress you’ve made.
To find a pediatrician or behavioral health therapist at Henry Ford, visit henryford.com or call 800-436-7936.