“Out of bounds… out on them! Out on them! It’s our ball!”
“WOO-HOO!”
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“Yes! Yes! Oh my God we are finally going to beat them!”
My brother and I were 13 and 10 years old and jumping up and down in the living room hugging each other. And trust me, we never hugged. So, with the Pistons about to beat the Celtics and go to the Finals after getting beat down by them so many times—you can understand how happy we were.
And then…
Bird stole the ball.
And the still-beating heart right out of my chest.
My brother and I went from jumping and screaming to stone silent and our mouths wide open staring at the TV. We were too stunned to cry. It was simply unbelievable.
Once the shock wore off, the hatred grew larger.
The hatred for Bird, and Parrish, and Dennis Johnson, Ainge, McHale and even Jerry Sichting. Nobody remembers Jerry freaking Sichting, but I do. He was smug and pesky and I hated him. Bill Walton and his goofy grin on the bench celebrating: HATE.
Yes, my fellow Pistons, Lions, Tigers and Red Wings fans, we know hate like this don’t we? Through the years, we’ve had hated rivals in all sports who’ve wronged our guys, hurt them-- even assaulted them-- or just plain beaten them. And no, we have not forgotten, as this list shows.
Michael Jordan, Claude Lemieux, Brett Favre, Panda Guy Sandoval, Patrick Roy… *lowers voice to a gravelly hateful tone* and Larry Bird—all villainous assassins who’ve dared threaten our Detroiters.
So, who do you think is public enemy No. 1? Vote and be heard! (Vote now: Who did Detroit sports fans despise the most?)
I know what you’re thinking—come on Jason, there’s enough hate in this world. Let’s focus on the positive! Well, that’s exactly what we’re doing with this list. This isn’t divisive hatred.
This is hatred we can that brings us together as Detroit sports fans. And together we can accomplish anything—like deciding which sports rival we hate the most.